Who We Are

I am hearing the invective with which some are speaking about my fellow Americans. How they are marginalizing citizens and veterans who have dedicated their careers to helping others out of a love for and a belief in this country. How they are diminishing allies who have fought for themselves as hard as humanly possible, even as they have had to ask for our help. And my heart breaks.

Hearing these words, having to own my proximity to them as a citizen of this country, I wonder what it means for my identity as an American. Do these voices truly represent the whole of us, even the majority of us? Are we really this angry, this resentful, this fearful, this insecure, that even as we might have to give difficult answers to friends (e.g., we have to help less going forward in order to address our own problems) we can't at least be respectful, empathetic, considerate of the challenges they are enduring?

There is a neighbor I have who ... let's just say I have frustrated him and his wife through the years given I don't prioritize my yard work to the same level they do/are able. I believe they are also good people and probably logically understand what is different about my situation vs theirs. Still. They get frustrated. I understand, but will never be able to care to the level they would prefer. The triviality of it frustrates me at times as well. Yet. While we do not go out of our way to greet or speak to each other, we also do not wish harm on each other. We hold, after all these years, a polite peace.

A year or so ago my son's car battery died, leaving him stranded at a gas station a couple miles from home. We were able to get his car to the parking lot of the bank next door, where we connected it with jumper cables to my car in an effort to get his vehicle back to the house to replace the battery. This was not working. I don't remember exactly why, but his car was still not starting. There was something unique about how the battery was placed that I think made the hook up of the cables not as straightforward.

At any rate, as I am disconnecting the cables and resigning myself to calling a tow truck, I look up and my neighbor has pulled up beside us. He wants to know if he can help. Sincerely. 

He could have passed right by and we never would have known. He could have driven by and told us we deserved whatever trouble this was due to my not taking the time to edge my lawn every spring. He could have critiqued me for not somehow anticipating the failure. He did not. Because that is not what the vast majority of Americans--or even decent humans--do.

Instead, talking through with him what we had tried to that point motivated me to make one more attempt. It worked. My son's car started and we were able to drive it back to my house to replace the battery.

That moment with my neighbor epitomizes to me one of our core American traits: When needed, most of us will help if we can. And if we can't help in any tangible way, then we will lend our encouragement and support in the ways we can. What most of us will not do is kick anyone who is trying to heal or to rescue themselves, regardless of our ability or willingness to assist. Yet a small faction is currently representing us differently.

I am tears burning my eyes thankful to be an American. Let me say it again: tears burning my eyes thankful to be an American.

I admire the audacious idealism of our founding fathers; furthered--where they fell short--by proceeding generations who fought to bring those ideals laid out in the Declaration and our Constitution to fuller realization. 

I am in love with my fellow Americans. Even the ones I disagree with, even if our personalities/beliefs/interests are so different we wouldn't spend any amount of time together under normal circumstances. Because we are, even then, in our differences, our variety, our diversity,... we are together what makes the potential of the United States so viscerally infinite.

I am concerned for the future of my country. I know some of the changes we are enduring are necessary to getting our own house in order. It is the extreme rhetoric and divisiveness of their delivery that chills me. It is a misrepresentation of who we fundamentally are courtesy of a relatively small group of individuals deeply out of touch with the majority of us. And yet there they are, front and center, distorting us at a character level to ourselves and to the rest of the world.

The silencing of dissenting voices with hateful rhetoric is reminiscent of scenes from some sort of dystopian authoritarian regime I am certain a large majority of us have not envisioned and do not want for these United States. This is no matter how fiercely we debate/disagree/oscillate on one subject or another. A victory won by pointing a proverbial gun at the head of another is a coward's victory. And I do not believe the vast majority of us to be cowards.

Who are we? It is time to define ourselves beyond the parties, the stereotypes, the lines attempting to be drawn between us. Then we must figure out how to use our collective voices and actions to counter the individuals trying to represent us differently.